Anyone who has taken on the responsibility of parenting children understands that it involves a great deal of saying “no.” As my two children grew into adulthood, I can’t count how many times I have said no to something, battled the emotion, the arguments, the hysterics, the cold shoulder, and then stood my ground when it would have been so much easier to just give in to whatever was being asked of me. When I knew it was in the best interests of my child to say no, and I knew that holding to that best interest line would make me the “worst mom in the whole world,” I still had to make the best choice, not necessarily the easiest.
While leadership is not parenting, there are many correlations. The Colonel said, “Sometimes leadership means saying no when it would be so much easier to say yes.” When I look back at how Dad parented me, it’s easy to see the leadership principles he utilized—and therefore instilled in me. (Hindsight is a marvelous thing, isn’t it?)
One of my recent clients had an employee who was very good at her job but still had some growing and maturing to do. This employee believed that, because of her hard work and her skill, it was time for her to move into a lead or, better yet, a supervisory position. My client knew she would fail miserably in a supervisory position because she lacked the emotional maturity to lead a team effectively. The employee argued and cried and threatened to take this “discrimination” to Human Resources. It was a very difficult situation for my client, but he knew that it was his responsibility to look out for the best interests of both this employee and any team she might lead. Regardless of how difficult it was, the answer was no. Instead, we worked together to devise and implement a growth plan for her emotional intelligence and basic leadership skills.
Often, saying no is way more challenging than saying yes. As leaders, it’s our responsibility to know what’s best for individual team members and the whole team, then buck up, ride through the rough road, and say no.
Read Lauren’s Whitepaper on The Nine Essentials of Significant Leadership.