Are you afraid of being persuasive? You’d be surprised at how many people secretly are. That’s because so many connect persuasion and manipulation. I know, I did for a very long time. The Colonel said, “Ya gotta learn to be persuasive. Here’s the difference between manipulation and persuasion. I manipulate you to benefit me. I persuade you to benefit you or the team’s greater good.”
Early in my first supervisory position, I was deep into a “Lauren whining to her father” session. The subject was how my staff was not doing what I wanted, performing up to my expectations or something to that general theme. Dad kept saying, “If they’re not doing what you want them to do, you need to find a way to persuade them.” Finally, in frustration, I said, “Dad, I am not a manipulative leader” (self-righteousness oozing out of every word…). That is when The Colonel said, “Ya gotta learn to be persuasive, kiddo. Here’s the difference between manipulation and persuasion. I manipulate you to benefit me. I persuade you to benefit you or the team’s greater good.” Manipulation is selfish. Persuasion is benevolent.
Being persuasive and not manipulative requires that we build rapport first. Every human being on earth has an invisible sign hanging around their neck that says, “Make me feel important.” Read the sign. Let them know they matter as a person before anything else. Then, let them know what’s in it for them. How will it benefit them to improve their performance? How will it benefit them to make the change you want them to make? Communicate with them – don’t talk at them. No one likes to be talked at, but everyone appreciates being communicated with. And get their input. People will support what they helped to create, so get them involved with their input.
These four basic keys to persuasion allow you to guide people where you need them to go for the benefit of your employee, your team, and your organization.
Read Lauren’s Whitepaper on The Nine Essentials of Significant Leadership.
