Can You See Yourself As Others Do? The Colonel said, “If you focus on being a mirror to someone, showing them how wonderful they are, their mirror will inevitably turn back toward you.”
Some people are drawn naturally to the spotlight. Others are not. Those of us who thrive on stage with a microphone in our hand and a spotlight on our face are accustomed to people telling us (either sincerely or at a shallow level) how wonderful we are. If we start to believe that of ourselves, we become less and less relevant. Please don’t misunderstand me; there is value in self-confidence and knowing you have a valuable message to impart. But, when the goal becomes showing others how wonderful you are, you lose your message and become just more noise in the universe.
I am fortunate to have a secret weapon. She doesn’t know she’s my secret weapon, but she is. (And sharing her name here would make her uncomfortable, so I won’t.) Like Popeye had his spinach and He-Man had the power of Grayskull, I have her. When I am down and questioning myself, she lifts me up. But she is most valuable to me when I start thinking I’m “all that.”
Because I know it’s all too easy for me to focus on myself and what I have going on (especially when I am feeling rather braggadocios), I try to discipline myself to begin every visit asking about her. As she catches me up on the various facets of her life, work, and family, she reveals the beauty of her soul and the most profoundly giving spirit I have ever encountered. I am in awe of it and am gently humbled by its presence every time I’m around her. She makes me want to be more and better than I am. She does that naturally, without thinking. It’s a special and unique gift she has, so I work hard to focus the mirrors in my eyes on her, so she can see how amazing she is and how drab my life would be without her.
Everyone has someone who makes them feel special. How wonderful would it be if you would focus the mirrors in your eyes entirely on them? Especially as a leader, allow them to see themselves through your eyes. What a simple, cost-free, but highly significant gift that would be!
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